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Wales

Flag of Wales.

Wales is a country roughly the size of Wales that is part of the United Kingdom and the island of More-than-Great Britain, bordered by England (a separate country to its east and the Irish Sea to its west. Wales is shaped like an RE teacher wearing a Napoleon hat.

Wales has a population of roughly three million. It is largely mountainous, with its highest peaks in the almighty north Wales, especially in Snowdonia, which contains Snowdon; its highest mountain, and Erebus, its highest volcano.

HistoryEdit

Early HistoryEdit

Before the 5th century AD, Wales was known as "Britannia" by the Romans, and Britain was divided into three countries; Scotland consisted of "Scotland" (west) and "Pictland" (east), and the areas now known as England was a part of Wales, then called Britannia. For over a millennium, the English referred to Welsh as the "British language", although English today refuse to admit it.

The native Britons were invaded by Germans called "Anglo-Saxons" around the 5th century AD, and in a few years these Germans called their Saxon dialect "Ænglisc", which became English. For the next several years, the English would try to wipe out the native Britons and their native language, known then as British. The English gave the native British language the old-English name of "Wēalsc", meaning "foreign language".

In the 1500s, Henry Tudor became King of England, and was quarter Welsh. However, Henry Tudor hated being called "Harri Tudur" by Richard III, and once he became King made the Welsh language illegal and tried to invade Wales again. Nowadays, Bodedern school worships the traitor as though he was a hero.

Unopressed Democratic People's People-run RepublicEdit

In the 20th century, communism came to Russia and millions of people starved, died and went to concentration camps, built by Lenin and used by Stalin to strike fear into the hearts of the population to strengthen his reign in the former soviet country. This has absolutely no relevance to the article.

In 1999, that bastard Llion Parry took over the country and instilled a religion called Llionism, for the purpose of establishing his personality cult. His right-hand-man, Conor Cassidy, assisted him in ruling Wales throughout his reign. For many years, Llion was adored and was famous throughout Wales by the Welsh public, but by the winter of 2012 and into 2013, Llion abused his power and abused his workers. Llion is estimated to have spent £3 million pounds on designer sunglasses from Tesco.

In December 2013, Llion found that they could talk to one American girl on a strange English device known as "the Internet", which Conor told him would allow him to improve diplomatic relations with America. Instead, Llion chose to flirt with the woman and ruined the whole mission, and thus Wales lost contact with this outside power. Furious, Conor and the rest of Llion's workers took over Wales and Llion was sent to the gallows.

SnowdoniaEdit

Wales is famous for its mountains. Its tallest is called the "Wyddfa", or "Snowdonia" in English. This is not to be confused with the fattest man in Wales, who is also "white at the top and big at the bottom".

The Snowdonia mountains contain a UAC complex with labs and military bases that would put Area 51 to shame, and the tallest volcano in Wales is said to be a portal to Hell.

RegionsEdit

Wales is split into two distinct regions, contrary to English belief, with two completely seperate accents and distinctive stereotypes.

North WalesEdit

Not to be confused with North Korea

WaliTomos

Wali Tomos, a famous North Walian, and one of the few non-Rugby players in the region.

North Wales properly consists only of Gwynedd, Anglesey and Conwy; despite Wrexham, Fflint and Denbighshire's attempts to jump into the bandwagon, they are not part of "North Wales". North Wales is the only true Wales, since the South is merely a mini-England with a funny accent and sheep.

In the northern half of Wales, people actually speak Welsh, a language completely unknown in the south. There is no bestiality in this region, and in north Wales there are mostly farms and mountains.

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